December 30, 2013

My heart is so full of emotions.  I just received the call late last night as I was headed off to bed.  President talked to Sis Odor first and then lastly me.  He told me he was calling regarding grandma and that she has passed away.  I knew it was coming yet you still can't even prepare your self for something like that.  It was a very hard and long night.  This morning I felt it was unreal and all a bad dream.  It's especially hard being away because it just feels like everything will be just fine in 6 months.  I have to keep reminding myself that this is it.  I had a feeling it was time though.  The 26th I had a rough morning and wanted to be home.  I had exchanges that day and was able to cry and let things out to my sister trainer leader.  She was my sister for the day.  Things the rest of the week got better but I was still feeling really homesick and just depressed.  Last night we were at a members home and she asked us each to take home something that was in her room.  My eyes went straight to a lighthouse.  I told her it reminds me of my grandma.  Little did I know I'd get a phone call that same night telling me she is gone.

I was so SO happy to see all of you Christmas!!!!  I couldn't stop smiling afterwards.  Seeing you all made things so much easier.  I hate just the phone call like Mothers day.  That made me really homesick afterwards.  But this time I was just so happy.  You all are so beautiful and I can't wait to hug each and every one of you.  After calling you, we headed over to the Schofield's.  It was fun but too laid back for me.  My one Christmas here and I want to use all the time to the fullest and sitting down was not working for me!  I wanted to play a game or watch a movie!  We had a fancy lunch with them.  Then there son in Peru called home so we felt a little awkward there still just sitting around not having anything to do.  So we left and headed back to the Horan's.  I played pirates with Jimmy the whole night until we had to eat.  The whole dinner time he kept staring at me and my pirate sword smiling and waiting for me to "kill" him.  But I told him "I will kill you after you eat your potatoes".  Everyone laughed.  :)  He ended up afterwards stealing my sword, stabbing me, and then stabbing himself.  So we both laid dead on the floor until it was time to watch a movie.  We watched Monsters University!  SO CUTE!!!!!!  I thought it was funny.  Made me kind of depressed though because that's how I've been feeling lately...where do I fit in?  But it was good.  We then went home and watched Wreck it Ralph with Sister Vogel.  Sister Odor loves her movies and wanted to watch as much as we could on this day that we're allowed.  So that was my Christmas.  Thank you all for the gifts and money.  I felt very loved.  

I love you all and hope you all find peace and comfort too.  This is a hard time for all of us and I know it will be very different from here on out.  I send my loves to Grandpa.  I wish I was there to hug you and give you a kiss.  I can't even comprehend your pain at this time.  Mom, you are my everything and I don't even know what I would do if I lost you.  I know you miss your mom and that it hurt you to see her in so much pain and unable to do anything.  I want you to know how much I love you and wish I could be there to comfort you at this time.  My biggest and tenderest hugs and tears to you mom.

I know Grandma loves me and wants me to keep working hard.  And I will.  I pray she watches over me now and helps me the rest of my time here and on.  She was an incredible lady and will be sorely missed.

xoxoxoxoxoxox

-hermana Sorensen

Happy New Years too!